Meeting locals online

Posted by admin on September 16th, 2007 filed in Locals, Living here

So how do you meet regular Thai people before you come to Chiang Mai or Thailand? That was a question I asked myself, wanting to avoid the bar girls, tour guides and hustlers who are jaded by all the tourists and simply want your money. So I turned to the internet and met some super Thais.

In a way, Thais are very innocent until they become ‘westernised’. Once they learn English a whole new world opens up. Many can speak passable English but have no opportunity to use it. Those who befriend or date foreigners soon lose some of their Thainess. And if they are dealing with impatient tourist types daily they become more like foreigners themselves, less passive and sweet, more abrupt and so on. If you come here as a tourist expecting to meet Thais while on holiday they will be friendly but guarded. Either they will be shy, on the job (and needing to remain professional) or have enough ‘farang’ company. Guide to meeting Thais.

For sure, it’s worthwhile to seek out some regular Thais who are simply minding their business, have little to do with tourists, but are dying to meet foreigners. They love to practice their English (it makes them feel more sophisticated), learn about your country and show you around there. Thai girls in particular are well place to make foreign male friends as there is always the romance aspect involved, but generally there is a better rapport between foreign men and Thai women here.

One of the best places, I’ve found, to meet Thais is online, they are very web savvy and use the internet a lot for this. There are chat rooms, match-making sites, dating and marriage agencies and so on. Even if you use Skype you can pick up all sorts of incoming messages from people wanting to just chat (if you set your locations to ‘Thailand’ and allow people to contact you) and I have met plenty of decent people this way.

Web forums are also good, and a whole host of dating/meeting sites that have big sections of Thais (mostly girls) looking for friends. There are all sorts here, lots are just shy but friendly girls (and guys – straight and gay) looking to make friends with foreigners, preferably ones planning to visit.  Of course many of them are looking for possible boyfriends but they are discreet about it and are happy and patient enough to simply be friends and meet in person some time in the future.

Before I came to Thailand I struck up online conversations with loads of Thais, some could barely speak English who simply were confident enough to uphold a conversation but from all the patient chatting I made some interesting friends (guys and girls) and when I arrived here I had a number of people willing to show me around. They weren’t in-yer-face bar girls or hustlers, but decent professional people who I could hold a decent conversation with and I’m still friends with several now. I ended up dating a couple of them and one girl really surprised me when she suddenly came out of her shell and dragged me back to her place from a disco we were at!

Another guy was gay and offered to put me up in Chiang Mai and I naively accepted, it got uncomfortable when he moved on me and I had to make it clear I wasn’t gay! Well, it’s all part of the adventure and much more rewarding if you are a guy looking to find a girlfriend here, if you take the time to meet these sorts of people, because they are genuine, trustworthy and the relationship is more realistic.
I’ve met university lecturers, lonely Thais living abroad who want to chat with a foreigner who can speak and understand Thai, some of these friendships have gone on for several years before we ever met, others have made it clear they are not interested in romance, and I’ve also patiently helped students who simply want to query things about English language. They have all been polite, respectful and fun to chat with.

The main thing is they are more genuine than the Thai you will meet in tourist discos, go go bars, tourist markets and so on. If they are clearly looking for men, they are also less fickle. Of course, you never quite know what you get from the internet and until you actually meet people in person you can never be too sure what they are really like and whether you will get along well, to keep an open mind, but do go ahead and set yourself up with several wen friends before you come – just don’t lead them on unfairly.