How a trip by bus turned into a nightmare

Posted by paul on December 4th, 2007 filed in tourist tips, Living here

A while ago I had to go to Ubon Ratchathani in North Eastern Thailand. The northeastern part of the country is known by the Thais as Isaarn. This rural area is not yet invaded by numerous buses filled with holidaymakers. My first intention was to fly to the city of Ubon, which after Korat is the most significant urban centre in the region. However, by plane I first had to fly to Bangkok and from there take a connecting service to Ubon Ratchthani so I decided to travel by coach.

It was a while ago since I made use of transport by bus and I thought it might be a nice experience. My previous bus journeys weren’t that bad, although the duration of this particular ride was going to be much longer as the distance between Chiang Mai and Ubon is more than 700 km. Anyway, travelling by bus would save me some money too, so I stayed optimistic. I bought a VIP coach ticket, which means the availability of comfy reclining chairs, snacks and soft drinks, video movies, air-conditioning, a blanket, toilet and two en-route stops for consuming a simple hot Thai meal.

The private bus company’s name, which operated the voyage, was named Nakonchaiair and the price for the ticket was around 650 baht. Their coach arrived on time and left the main Chiang Mai bus terminal at 7pm. Once inside the vehicle I noticed that many chairs were still free including the seat next to me. Great! Even more comfort I thought.

After being on the road for about 90 minutes the driver made his first stop and surprisingly picked up about fifteen persons. After about three hours he made a second stop at some insignificant bus station and another 20 Thai travellers joined the ride and by now the majority of the seats were occupied. I was amazed that some of the passengers already slept after a few minutes while the volume of the just started Thai B movie was incredibly loud and I wished I had something I could stuff my ears with.

Most of the passengers turned the button of the air-conditioning to the highest including the continuously peanuts-eating Thai passengers. It really started to get freezing cold and I wrapped the rather small blanket around my legs. The hostess passed by and gave me the second ice cold can of Coke.

When the extremely bad Thai movie was finished, a second similar film followed. This time the passengers could enjoy watching a Thai dubbed ‘farang’ feature. I could recognise eighties action hero Chuck Norris, so I knew without a doubt that this was going to be rubbish again, while the sound volume remained tormenting loud. Around midnight the bus made the first stop for having some hot food. It was a relief to stretch the legs and I just followed the other passengers to the joint where the meal was served. On the menu was some tasteless boiled with plain rice. Fortunately the spicy oyster sauce made the food eatable. There were just 10 minutes for everybody to finish the meal and head back to the seats again. I remember this elderly Thai woman that by the time her meal was served, she only had a minute or two left to eat something.

Now the journey really started to become a “highway to hell” as unexpected, another 20 people were allowed to join the trip and about 10 of them had to stand as there weren’t any free seats. The silent, peanut-eating Thai didn’t return for the remaining part of the trip and his chair was now taken by a heavily perfumed, young and slim Thai lady but when ‘she’ turned her head towards me and kindly smiled to me, I instantly noticed it wasn’t exactly a lady but a “Khatoey”, which is what the Thais call a lady boy. I politely smiled back to and without success, tried to ignore the annoying noise of another of Chuck Norris’ kung fu scenes.

Finally Chuck’s movie was finished and the driver played some relaxing cocktail music. But than, believe it or not, the chauffeur stopped again around 2am and another bunch of heavily packed persons were picked up. By now I really had to go for a piss and had to leave my seat, trying to reach the toilet, which was positioned in the vehicle’s back. Getting to the toilet was a hard mission as the walkway and the space in front of the toilet door were blocked by sitting passengers and they first all had to get up so I could pass by. My bladder almost could not take the pressure anymore and I was relieved when I finally had reached the tiny toilet.

However, at the moment I began to release my bladder’s content, the coach was driving along a badly maintained road with wholes in it as big as Laos. I swung from the left to the right wall of the small cabin, while I tried as hard as I could to aim and pee in the bowl. After concluding that I didn’t hit the target all the time I still felt very relieved. Fortunately I had managed to keep my trousers dry and happily returned back to my chairs. On the way back everybody had to get up again.

The skinny lady boy was now in a deep sleep so I tried, getting back into my seat without disturbing her. “Let’s try to sleep too”, I thought, and again I wrapped the blanket around me. However, seemed that the road’s remaining part was in a bad condition as well and the coach severely shook up and down due to the many wholes in it. Suddenly the charming, seemingly fragile lady boy began to snort as a real man. No sleep untill Ubon!

Around 5pm we all were given the option to enjoy our second meal as the chauffeur pulled over for the second culinary stop. Again the menu contained plain rice and we could choose out of three sauces. I decided to take the yellow curry sauce, which surprisingly tasted well. This time the food was pretty good but the time for eating it was again way too short.

It was a relief when I saw a bunch of passengers leaving with a minibus so the bus must be less crowded. Wrong! When boarding the by now much hated vehicle, I noticed new passengers getting aboard as well. The charming lady boy was still and had skipped the meal, which probably explained her too skinny figure. About 30 minutes later her head was suddenly gently leaning against my shoulder. Frankly I didn’t mind as with her head in this positioned, she stopped snorting.

Another hour passed and suddenly a Thai guy, who was by now probably standing for six hours already, couldn’t stand it anymore. He loudly began to curse the transport company and very agitated told the passengers near him that they guaranteed him an available chair when he bought the bus ticket. His furious speech didn’t seem to impress the bystanders and nobody bothered to react and remained silent. However, I did burst out in laughter when he threatened to set the coach operator’s office afire. Somehow, this was the moment for releasing all the piled up tension, caused by this horrible journey, and by now tears rolled over my cheeks. When all the Thais saw and heard this “crazy farang” laughing so loud, it probably effected their mood as many of them started to laugh out loud as well, while the lady boy remained in his deep beauty sleep.

The bus finally arrived at Ubon Ratchathani’s main terminal at 10pm. I got out and rapidly ran to the toilet. A totally exhausted and bloodshot-eyed person is what I saw in the mirror. I just survived a sleepless journey by bus with a travel time of more than 15 hours. I quickly took a taxi to the nearest hotel, booked a room, and slept till 8pm. This travel experience was probably one, I won’t easily forget. I must say that usually the Thai VIP bus services offer good services but I don’t recommend travelling with Nakonchonair Tours. If you are planning to travel by bus from Bangkok to Chiang Mai than you probably find this useful travel info very handy.